relearning | [prismatica] inbox

[He's more disappointed than mad anyway.]

Thanks. Man, this is gonna make me sound like the worst Latino, but I weirdly like those cheapass frozen burritos when I'm down.

[ It's ok bruh she's not judging. No Latinos exist where she comes from, so you're the first one she's ever gotten to know. ]

Those should be easy enough to find, at least. Alrighty, I'll see you soon.

[ She gives Els a quick heads up on what's going on and leaves to go get some groceries before heading over to Carlos's place. When she arrives, she has one bag full of frozen burritos of multiple varieties, and another bag full of stuff with actual nutritional benefit. Mostly just a few staples, like meat, milk, rice, some veggies, stuff to tide him over until he felt okay enough to do some of his own shopping. He's taken good care of her when she needed it, so it was only right that she do the same now that he does.

She raises a fist to knock on the door. She knows she could probably just walk inside since he was expecting her anyway, but always best to be safe. ]

[Look.

They're terrible.

They're barely burritos.

But when you feel like shit your body just graves more shit to balance it out.

His place is clean but there's some unpacked boxes in the living room, and the door is unlocked for her to come in. He's on the couch in a tanktop and baggy cargo shorts, flipping through Lunatia TV channels with the expression of someone who is barely retaining anything.]

[ She won't judge. She barely eats sometimes. She opens the door after a few moments, because she can hear the tv on inside. She moves right into his kitchen and puts the food away, then goes to microwave a burrito for him.

Once it beeps, she takes it out and moves to sit next to him on the couch, offering up the plate with the sad looking burrito on it. ]

[He only half hears her enter and it doesn't fully register in his exhaustion to get up and greet her. It's only when the beep of the microwave happens that he actually jolts back into reality, and for a split second he actually struggles to remember where he even was.

Shit.

Been a while since he's let his mind get that far away from him.

He shakes his head with a hand against his temple and moves to get up, stopping only when he realizes he's missed her entirely and she's already coming out of the kitchen to sit next to him.

He settles back down and takes the plate carefully.]

Thanks.

[ Sheesh, she's never seen him this out of sorts. It worries her. There's an obvious worried frown on her face as she watches him in silence for a bit. ~~Aisha das creepy~~ ]

Wanna talk about it?

[ She's not sure what it was, but it must have been something pretty bad for him to be this upset. If he doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine too. She'll just have to figure some way out to distract him if he doesn't. ]

[This is new for him, too. He's usually able to shake most things off. There's a finality to moving back to his place, though, and an odd sense like he's just giving up even if there's really nothing left to fight for.

He stays quiet for a while longer before finally replying, quietly:]

Jill's gone.

[Then, after a too long pause:]

We had a stupid argument a few days ago. And now she's gone.

Oh ...

[ Stupid arguments are basically how she and Els communicate, but she could see that this wasn't that normal for him and Jill. She'd never met the other girl, but he had told her a few things?? Not enough to say that she really knew her, but enough to know that Carlos really cared a lot about her. ]

I take that to mean that she went back to her world, otherwise you wouldn't have moved back here?

[ Man ... That was the worst. And not being able to resolve their argument must have been a pretty awful note for this to happen on. She found herself leaning a little against his side, in some weird attempt at comfort without actually hugging him, since he was still having a burrito date. ]

I'm sorry.

[Trying to, anyway. He wants the burrito but his upset is having a field day with his insides, stomach knotting every time he thinks about the last things he said to her. They weren't kind to each other. Charged feelings mired in years of regret and self isolation on Jill's side, fear of loss on his side. They had a connection and that couldn't be ignored but what Carlos wanted out of the relationship and what Jill was willing to give weren't compatible but he wasn't able to just hold his tongue forever.

Maybe if it had been a simple matter of "I'm not attracted to you, I don't want to be with you like that" it would have been easier because he could respect that. Would have respected that! But she just kept going in circles and it was never about attraction, it was always about self worth and the scars left by Wesker and and and. He wanted to be the one to help her from that darkness but she was just too goddamn proud and it hurt.

Aisha's question earns a delayed nod. Actually he probably would have given the extent of that damned argument but probably not as quickly as he had. He at least would have tried to make it up to her, to apologize and clear the air before doing so.]

[ She really hated seeing him like this. She also hated that she had no idea what else she could do to help, other than bring him some food and make sure he ate and had some company. She wouldn't be able to stay for too long, but she at least wanted to make sure he had the means to care for himself before she left him.

And ... If she was able to do anything to help, that she could maybe leave him in a better state than he was currently. She couldn't just leave him like this. The guy helped her when she needed it most on more than one occasion. If anyone in this place had become a close friend to her, it was Carlos. She couldn't just leave someone she cared about in this kind of state.

She rested her head against his shoulder, an arm wrapping around his waist and squeezing a little. Aisha was not the most physically affectionate person, but ... She was trying. ]

Let me know if I can help in any other way.

[He'll move on, in time.

He always does.

It's not the first time he's experienced loss and it won't be the last. At least Jill is back home where she might be able to join up with her team again, and not dead like so many others before her.

Carlos has no idea what's in store for his future but he already knows that at least by the mid 2000's he still hadn't met up with her again.

Maybe he never would.

And maybe that really was for the best.

He leaned in to Aisha's hug with a tired sigh.]

Might need you to check up on me for a bit. Just until I get my head outta my ass...

[ She finally wrapped both arms around him, tightening the hug a little. ]

Your head was out of your ass at some point? I'd like to see that.

[ As much as it sounded mean, she knew that Carlos knew her sense of humor by now and even though she had said it without thinking, maybe some sense of normalcy would be good for him. ]

Seriously, though. I'll be here.

You wound me, Aisha.

[He doesn't quite manage the usual over-dramatic lilt with his returned teasing like he normally would, but the fact that he brings it out at all is probably a good sign.]

I'm glad. Thank you.

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