relearning | [prismatica] inbox

[Trying to, anyway. He wants the burrito but his upset is having a field day with his insides, stomach knotting every time he thinks about the last things he said to her. They weren't kind to each other. Charged feelings mired in years of regret and self isolation on Jill's side, fear of loss on his side. They had a connection and that couldn't be ignored but what Carlos wanted out of the relationship and what Jill was willing to give weren't compatible but he wasn't able to just hold his tongue forever.

Maybe if it had been a simple matter of "I'm not attracted to you, I don't want to be with you like that" it would have been easier because he could respect that. Would have respected that! But she just kept going in circles and it was never about attraction, it was always about self worth and the scars left by Wesker and and and. He wanted to be the one to help her from that darkness but she was just too goddamn proud and it hurt.

Aisha's question earns a delayed nod. Actually he probably would have given the extent of that damned argument but probably not as quickly as he had. He at least would have tried to make it up to her, to apologize and clear the air before doing so.]

[ She really hated seeing him like this. She also hated that she had no idea what else she could do to help, other than bring him some food and make sure he ate and had some company. She wouldn't be able to stay for too long, but she at least wanted to make sure he had the means to care for himself before she left him.

And ... If she was able to do anything to help, that she could maybe leave him in a better state than he was currently. She couldn't just leave him like this. The guy helped her when she needed it most on more than one occasion. If anyone in this place had become a close friend to her, it was Carlos. She couldn't just leave someone she cared about in this kind of state.

She rested her head against his shoulder, an arm wrapping around his waist and squeezing a little. Aisha was not the most physically affectionate person, but ... She was trying. ]

Let me know if I can help in any other way.

[ She nods, closing her eyes and leaning a little into him, trying to take some breaths to calm her nerves. She'd let him take the lead. He knew what he was doing, and she had no idea outside of some textbooks she'd read a long time ago. It was best to just let things happen ... ]

[He'll move on, in time.

He always does.

It's not the first time he's experienced loss and it won't be the last. At least Jill is back home where she might be able to join up with her team again, and not dead like so many others before her.

Carlos has no idea what's in store for his future but he already knows that at least by the mid 2000's he still hadn't met up with her again.

Maybe he never would.

And maybe that really was for the best.

He leaned in to Aisha's hug with a tired sigh.]

Might need you to check up on me for a bit. Just until I get my head outta my ass...

[Textbooks can only teach you so much on certain subjects, and Carlos is relatively certain sex is one of them.

She trusts him to guide this, no alcohol and blind fumbling needed.

Once she no longer looks like she's panic breathing he leans in and tests with a gentle, encouraging kiss, waiting to see how she'll respond before going further.]

Hey, just uh checking in. How are you as late?

Edited 2020-11-20 00:42 (UTC)

Not great. Thanks for checking in.

[ She finally wrapped both arms around him, tightening the hug a little. ]

Your head was out of your ass at some point? I'd like to see that.

[ As much as it sounded mean, she knew that Carlos knew her sense of humor by now and even though she had said it without thinking, maybe some sense of normalcy would be good for him. ]

Seriously, though. I'll be here.

[ Well, to be fair, they didn't have any booze that she knew of. Unless he was holding back on that front. Rude. But it's okay, she (kind of) knows what her body wants, and it most certainly is wanting him right now. The feel of his lips on hers only solidifies that want, and she leans into the kiss, timidly at first, but more confidently after a few moments.

It was nice .... Really, really nice. It was nice to be seen as someone beautiful, and worthy of this sort of attention. ]

I feel like I missed something amidst everything else... Dare I ask?

Els went back home. I moved in with Carlos.

... After all that happened, this place just...

Ugh. It's like that, I guess. But it's still... I'm glad you're with someone at least.

Do you want me to visit, or to visit me?

You wound me, Aisha.

[He doesn't quite manage the usual over-dramatic lilt with his returned teasing like he normally would, but the fact that he brings it out at all is probably a good sign.]

I'm glad. Thank you.

[If he did have any it was some piss water beer he bought on the cheap when he didn't have as much chroma to spend. He was more the drink-at-the-bar or in social situations sort anyway. And that's fine; in this situation he wouldn't want to be compromised and accidentally cause the experience to go bad for her.

It could happen regardless if she really wasn't into it at all even with the problems of moonblessings but he would still try his best to make her comfortable. Her reciprocating the kiss with notable eagerness this time was a good green light to start doing more, and he tested the waters by letting a hand wander to her chest with a light grope.]

If you want to visit, I'm sure Carlos won't mind. Or I could meet you somewhere. Either or.

Haven't much met Carlos, honestly, so your read would be appreciated on whether it's a good fit or not.

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Text, UN: bardic_uncertainty, timeframe closer to when Aisha found out Els is gone

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